Whitney, Whitney, Whitney.

Recently I’ve been thinking about the surge in awesome ladies on TV. I’m a huge fan of Leslie Knope on Parks & Rec (check in tomorrow for my review of the first two episodes!), Liz Lemon on 30 Rock, and most days I really dig Kat Dennings’ Max on 2 Broke Girls. But there is one lady on fall TV who I definitively do not dig: Whitney.

I was thinking again today about my pure distaste for this show, and after a couple of glasses of wine (and, full disclosure, episodes of the West Wing which may or may not have included me doing the Jackal along with the magnificent Alison Janney/C.J. Cregg) I thought maybe I should give Whitney another chance.

The bad news? I watched the Whitney pilot again. The good? I drank two glasses of wine and then wrote about it. Below are my thoughts. Enjoy.

Does the opening shot of this show really need to be her doing her makeup in a bra? Come on. Although kudos for shaving your lady ‘stache, Whit.

OK, I’ve known this boyfriend for 3 minutes and I hate him already. He’s insulted her clothing choices, been annoyed at her for (cliché!) running a second late. But somehow it took her 30 seconds to change dresses? PLEASE. Why did it take her so long in the first place? THERE ARE MAJOR PLOT FLAWS ALREADY.

Yeah, grabbing a purse for your girlfriend is totally being “whipped”. Favors for people you love is for SUCKERS!!!!!!!!

Why can’t you wear pants to a wedding? Even if they’re nice pants? Forget this show and their ridiculous clothing rules.

Did we really have to do the “she’s gonna do a ride-along… ON MY FACE!” and then all the women just stood for it?

“I have a girlfriend, so I can’t engage in any type of merriment”. Gross.

“monogamy is not natural. If cavemen had been monogamous, there would have been like 6 people.” – I really hate the constant pushing of the idea that sex is so important to a successful relationship. It is a part of it, but my contributions to a loving, lasting relationship are not limited to my body.

“Being a single woman today is embarassing.” BLECH.

She’s dressed up like a sexy nurse. No. God. Why. I hate the “sexy ____” costumes.

OK. I do like the Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman reference. Kudos to that.

Jane Kaczmareck. Why are you stooping this low? You were so awesome on Malcolm in the Middle.

AAAND done. Honestly, this show had potential, but Whitney ruined it by making it basically a rehash of every other terrible sitcom out there instead of making it a real and honest show about being in a loving relationship without being married. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go remember that female TV characters can be awesome and watch more episodes of The West Wing.

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